Rape: Not a woman's problem, a man's issue.
-“It was 8:30pm as I was coming back from my workplace; three boys at least 10 years younger than me started calling me names. I tend to ignore and walk by with all the fear my chest could bear. Suddenly, one of them grabbed me from behind; as I fell, they dragged me by the dark corner and that is how my life ended in front my own eyes. They told me it was my fault to work so late at night, I was already a slut for that.”
-“I was only 7 years old...yes only 7. A monster used to come to our house in disguise of my uncle, my father’s friend. He also bought gifts and chocolates. My innocent eyes could not see beyond that. He used to call me to the washroom, press his hands so tight over my mouth that my screams could not shattered the safety walls of my own home. I bled my happy fantasy world every time he used to come over. They told me I should keep quiet for the reputation of my family.”
-“I trusted them. I never differentiated among guy and girl friends. They all were my friends. But little to know, I was asking for it when I wore a knee length dress to a birthday party of one of them. They told me obviously I would get raped if I go out with boys late at night. It was my fault.”
-“I used to go to school with one of my friends. We had our pretty uniform included a shirt, a pant and a scarf to cover ourselves. My religion has taught me to cover my head with hijab and wear a bourka. I wore them regularly whenever I was out. One day, me and my friend coming from school; the gang stopped us. Oh, which gang you ask, the guys there had huge power in our village and the leader proposed my friend for relationship and as she said no, he snatched it from us. We both were gang raped by them in board daylight but nobody came to help. Even the police refused to case a file. They told it was her fault to say no.”
Now let me spike you up for a brainstorm. Think, have you ever faced sexual harassment on the roads or your workplace, school, colleges, in public transport in your daily life? It's evident every girl has their own story.
People say minor sexual harassment leads to rape. But in my opinion, there is no such thing is minor sexual harassment. Every unappropriated touch, every bad name called, every fear of living a life as woman is equally disturbing as rape. They all grow up with the trauma that could not be explained.
-“I was pleading for my life as they were raping me one after another for, I don’t know how many hours. Each moment felt like centuries as they pushed rods into my genitals as for fun; my body went numb and eventually decided to burn my body. I was still alive, begging with all the breath remaining in my body. I wouldn’t tell anybody, please leave me...please!!! It wasn’t my body what was burning, it was the humanity that the big people talk on televisions. They told me it was my fault”
-“Yes my story is similar. They threw me into the river thinking I was dead. Drowning was way easier than being eaten by animals who call themselves humans.”
-“I didn’t ever question my father’s decision in my entire life so when he told me to get married at the age of 16, I agreed. I didn’t meet my husband till the day of our wedding. On our first night I was so scared to be in a new environment that I only wanted to sleep as an escape of reality. But he tore me apart as soon as he came inside the room. The night was all about blood and tears and domination. And it continued ever since... They told me it was not rape because he was my husband.”
This society is raising these animals and we being a member of the death circus is nourishing them to an extent that they do not even feel scared of the law. Is this what we expect from the world?
Though I strongly disagree of women constantly thinking about their protection, fearing their lives and have to carry external products for their safety because rape culture is not a women problem, it’s a men issue or may I call it disorder. We being a woman should not be afraid all the time in an independent country and as an independent citizen. It is the duty of the government, more specifically the law enforcement team to give every citizen assurance and make them feel safe inside their own country boarders. But as this far away from reality,
Let me include some of self-defense trick and tips for women by Nisha Salim,
– Pretend to be submissive and fight back when the attacker is off-guard, while faking an epileptic fit, asthmatic attack, nervous breakdown or a heart attack.
– Stay fit enough to run fast.
– Always walk on the right side of the road to avoid groping or chain snatching from behind. – Always walk paying full attention to your surroundings, keeping your purse to your front.
– Avoid wearing high heeled shoes when you have to walk back to your home. Avoid too much jewelry while using public transportation.
– It is not rude to say STOP. Say it in a loud voice, but avoid using swear words or threats which may further enrage the attacker.
– You may trust and love a man, but your intuition is most likely to be right, so listen to your inner voice.
– If you have to fight a man, assume the role of a woman possessed. Keep kicking him repeatedly, attacking only the knees, groin or eyes or chin.
Remember that there is no substitute for self-defense training. You may not learn everything about taking care of yourself just by reading a few tips or attending a few weekend classes, but they will help you rethink what you have been taught so far.
Also including the procedure of making pepper spray at home,
I. Pour one cup of vinegar in a bowl.
II. Add 2-3 table spoons of chili sauce
III. Add 1 table spoon of chili flakes, 3 table spoon of red chili powder
IV. Add 2 table spoon of black or white pepper and also add 3 tbs oil in the mixture V. Now stir it very well
VI. After that add 1/4th cup water and boil the mixture.
VII. Let it cool down and pour it in a spray bottle and keep it with you anywhere you go.
At this point of time, the whole talk about it was or wasn’t the fault of the girl’s outfit or at what time late at night they were out, whether they were asking for it or not. All these are useless. Rape culture went beyond now. Hundreds of girls, women are being raped and being tortured and murdered at the time you are reading this.
People are protesting against rape all over Bangladesh and India after heinous rape occurred recently which came into limelight. We started speaking, we started fighting and most importantly WE ARE UNITED.
-“But you forgot about me. Obviously, I can't speak yet. I am only 1 year and 2 months old. They cut my genitals with a blade as I was too small. I cried my heart out but nobody even imagine they could do this to me.”
-“I always thought it was the girls who are in risk of being harassed and raped. Being a boy, I could not even express what went through me. My home tutor whom I thought would be the person I trust the most, broke me when he slides his hands through my pants and I will never forget my feeling I had at that very moment.”
It’s not always about sexual arousal or sexual frustration that causes rape, sometimes it's about domination, its about showing power. At the time of World War II, millions of women and minor girls were raped not because they had to fulfil their sexual needs but they wanted to show power over the unarmed and innocent people so that they can break their strength to an extent that they could not fight. We can also see the same scenario during our Independence War, where the Pakistani Bahinis used to rape women just because it was a weak spot for the fighters to loosen their motivation and dominate on us.
Men should be aware of their basic responsibilities and behavior towards women. Again, if a man respects women, doesn't talk bad about them and thinks about their safety is not a super human. We should stop glorifying basic traits of human beings. Every person should respect each others privacy and deeds. It is prominent that our society is a bit conservative but we should take up a liberal mind and not go comment on what everyone is doing rather they are committing a crime. As a independent citizen, we have our freedom of speech but we should learn to use it wisely.
If I mention the laws against rape and sexual harassment in Bangladesh,
Punishment for rape: punishment for rape has been described both The Prevention of Oppression against Women and Children Special Act 2003 ( Nari O Shishu Nirjatan Daman Bishesh Ain 2003) and The Bangladeshi Penal Code 1860.
Punishment for rape under The Nari O Shishu Nirjatan Daman Bishesh Ain 2003): According to section 9 of this Act -
i. Whoever commits rape with a woman or a child shall be punished with rigorous imprisonment for life and with fine.
Explanation: Whoever has sexual intercourse without lawful marriage with a woman not being under fourteen years of age, against her will or with her consent obtained, by putting her in fear or by fraud, or with a woman not being above fourteen years of age with or without her consent, he shall be said to commit rape.
ii. If in consequence of rape or any act by him after rape, the woman or the child so raped, died later, the man shall be punished with death or with transportation for life and also with fine not exceeding one lac taka.
iii. If more than one man rapes a woman or a child and that woman or child dies or is injured in consequences of that rape, each of the gang shall be punished with death or rigorous imprisonment for life and also with fine not exceeding one lac taka.
iv. Whoever attempts on a woman or a child to cause death or hurt after rape, he shall be punished with rigorous imprisonment for life and also with fine.
b) To commit rape, he shall be punished with imprisonment for either description, which may extend to ten years but not less than five years rigorous imprisonment and also with fine.
v. If a woman is raped in the police custody, each and every person, under whose custody the rape was committed and they all were directly responsible for safety of that woman, shall be punished for failure to provide safety, unless otherwise proved, with imprisonment for either
description which may extend to ten years but not less than five years of rigorous imprisonment and also with fine.
Punishment for rape under Penal Code:
According to section 376 of this Code -
Whoever commits rape shall be punished with imprisonment for life or with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine, unless the woman raped is his own wife and is not under twelve years of age, in which case he shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to two years, or with fine, or with both.
-“Being a boy, I was never afraid to go out anytime of the day until that day in a bus I was sitting next to a woman who seems to be in her 40s. She started making small talk with me and I was talking with her very politely. Slowly while talking she put her hand on my thighs and were asking me if I could visit her at her house. She also mentioned she lived alone and she wishes me come to her and she is also willing to pay me. I was so disgusted that I went off way before my destination.”
-“I have never assaulted a girl nor I have looked at them in any bad way in my life. I loved a girl in my college who was also willing to come in a relationship with me. We were happy for first 5 months and I would do anything to make her happy. I was planning my future with this girl. One
day I got to know she was cheating on me with another guy. I confronted her but did not use a bad word against her. The very next week she deliberately made wounds on her body and filed a
rape case on me. I was humiliated in front of everyone and nobody believed me as I was a man. It forced me to suicide. I hope she is happy now.”
The only word in the dictionary that can stop rape culture from engulfing our society is "Consent". People usually term Consensual sex and Non-consensual sex. But there is not such thing is non consensual sex, it is rape. Anything not consensual is considered as rape. When a girl is in a public place, her body doesn't become a public property. The concept of consent is obscure in our country. It is the first and foremost education that should be given to us to actually behave like a normal human being.
Also, if we talk about feminism which most of the men in our countries hate to their guts, we should educate ourselves what feminism is. Feminism does not mean as women we want everything more than men, it simply means equality. Men and women should be equal. Now, here comes a fact real feminism should not and does not mean, a woman should lift a 100kg weight and beat a man; NO! feminism means when a man works in the top most position or maintain a massive business and nobody questions them how they all manage it, they should not also question a woman. A woman can be a CEO, a business woman and also a mother. But being in our society, women doesn't get enough opportunities to get to that position and if they try to fight for it, they have to go through way more struggle than a man. So, feminism is the fight for equality and justice; not to dominate men in any sense.
Now comes the concept of fake feminism. There are women who misuse the scope and opportunity they have as a woman. They always want to be superior, it should be remembered that its not a competition, its a world that we are making together. Fake feminists have misconceptions where they give false cases on men and always want to prove them wrong. The whole concept is very toxic and they are misleading women on taking wrong path.
Rapists, people involved in rape and also frauds giving false rape cases on male citizens all should be taken under law. The execution of law should be so tough that they fear of doing any sort of violence in this land.
Let our voices break all inhuman acts and make our country a better and safe place to live.
Reported by:
Sristi Mitra,
Representor, DYDF-India
Delhi Technological University(Former DCE),
Delhi, India.
Wow Amazing 🙏
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